Humans of Ateneo
Humans of Ateneo is a project of the Sanggunian: Commission on Mental Health that aims to share the different stories of resilience among the Ateneo Loyola Schools community in order to inspire the student body.
The one thing that I fear the most is failure. I used to feel like if I failed, I would lose everything and everyone. Ever since I was a kid, I was always expected to be the best by a lot of important people in my life, and I grew up with those expectations, I thought that failure meant disappointing the people who were counting on me. This fear caused me to doubt myself a lot, and it took me almost six years of battling depression to get better, and realize that it’s actually okay to fail. That even if you do, there’s always a chance for you to get up afterwards, no matter how hopeless it may seem. Today, I’m learning to let go of those expectations and just focus on my own expectations for myself.
The people who helped me realize that, are part of the org I’ve been in for almost five years now, which is Pathways to Higher Education. It’s an organization that aims to empower marginalized students from public schools. They helped me a lot by becoming like a big family for me, where everyone has shared experiences that really makes each person feel safe and cared for. Because of them, I learned that it’s alright to be yourself. Other people will accept you for who you are, and continue to support you even if you fail and until you can get up again.
Aside from Pathways, my family and friends helped me too. I’m also thankful to myself for holding on and for realizing that it’s alright to keep on living. I’m still in the process of accepting my failures, because it’s never easy to know that you’ve made a mistake; but now, I’m doing much better at accepting the way things are. I’ve also grown to hope for the best, and keep a positive outlook in life.
These days, I have a lot on my plate with balancing friends, family, other orgs, acads, and lovelife. Even though it’s busy and very tiring, I feel like this time, it’s doing me good, and I’m doing good for other people.
— Maki Angeles
You may follow Humans of Ateneo on Twitter and Instagram through @humansofateneo.
Photo by Gwen Morelos
Layout and Post-processing by Mary Abigail Bungay
Transcript by Raine Rivas